Featured / September 13, 2020

Russian Interference: BLM floundering in a fountain

SEATTLE (W.A.) – Black Lives Matter was strolling merrily down the street, ever so innocent in the city of Seattle. One in the group might exclaim “One more demonstration and we will finally get what we have been fighting for!” To their dismay, ex-Russian paratroopers heard their song & chant and felt urged to join in themselves. Given the nationalistic nature to our Eastern European friends, known for their inability to think in any other way than being an Eastern European, they decided the perfect song would be a song of their childhood.

These two groups of unsuspecting frens were about to collide in a way no one expected. At the moment of impact, they were met at a fountain. The water still glistening and sparkling. And it all became clear, “Moidodyr”.

Moidodyr or Мойдодыр is a children’s cartoon that depicts the importance of personal hygiene. A sink come-to-life encounters a boy so dirty his own clothes, shoes, and bedding run from him. Everything he touched becomes filthy! Moidodyr the sink is here to correct the matter. He sends his team of scrubbing brushes all while singing the great song which goes something to the effect of “scrub, scrub, scrub until it has a hole”, commenting on the unending layers of filth this child had over his skin.

In the end all is well, and what once look like a Sicilian now looks like a Northern European. Or maybe an El Salvadorian, but small difference. Let us have a peek pre and post scrub, shall we:

Pre scrubbing
Fresh

Ok, Charlie, that’s kek and all but, what about all those Black Lives Matter rioters. The paratroopers see the black people and the opportunity to teach the important lesson of Moidodyr! They grabbed the rioters, throwing them into the fountain, lifting them in and out effortlessly. Scrub, scrub, scrubbing them until… well until they weren’t black anymore. They would scrub and scrub and after some time, only to look down and witness the disappointment of the rioters still being … black. They tried and tried and scrubbed and scrubbed, even sang the Moidodyr song invoking the great clearer himself, but it seemed as though nothing could fix it : (

They were never found, or seen again apparently. And if you think this is fake, you can read about it here:

To enjoy this past time of these paratroopers and to sing along yourself, here is Moidodyr: